Sexual violence happens more than we think. The likelihood is – you will know someone affected by sexual violence.

1 in 4 women have been raped or sexually assaulted since the age of 16.

1 in 30 women were raped or sexually assaulted in the last 12 months.

1 in 6 children have been sexually abused.

1 in 18 men have been raped or sexually assaulted since the age of 16.

(Source: Rape Crisis)

An estimated 7.9 million people in England and Wales have been subjected to sexual violence since the age of 16. This equates to around 16.6% of people aged 16 yrs+. This includes an estimated 1.9 million victims of rape. That’s 7.7% women and 0.2% men that have been subjected to rape since the age of 16.

An estimated 1.1. million adults were subjected to sexual violence (incl attempts) in the year ending March 2022. This equates to 2.3% of adults, aged 16 yrs+, of which 798,000 were women and 275,000 men.

An estimated 3.1 million adults were subjected to sexual violence before the age of 16. This equates to 7.5% of adults.

Impact of sexual trauma can be long-term and for some, lifelong, making every day life a struggle.

Sources CSEW; ONS (2022); CPS (2022); CPS (2019)

Without consent, any kind of sexual activity is sexual violence.

The Sexual Offences Act 2003 notes consent as when a person chooses to participate and ‘has the freedom and capacity to make that choice.’

A person doesn’t have the freedom and capacity to agree to sexual activity if…

• They are asleep or unconscious.
• They are drunk or ‘on’ drugs.
• They’ve been ‘spiked’ with drink or drugs.
• They are under the age of consent (this is 16 years of age in the UK).
• They have been threatened, pressured, bullied, manipulated, tricked, or scared into saying ‘yes’.
• They have a disorder or illness that means they are unable to make a choice.
• The other person is using physical force against them.

If there is not consent, the activity is a criminal offence.

A person can be guilty of rape or sexual assault – even if they believed the person consented. The belief in the person’s consent must be ‘reasonable’. The court will assess the ‘reasonableness’ of the steps taken by the person to establish whether a complainant consented.

Everybody has the right to stop sexual activity at any time, no matter how far into the act they are. If a partner says to stop and a person continues, they are committing a crime.

We often hear, “Why didn’t they fight back?” “Why didn’t they run away?” – this is victim blaming and adds to the shame and stigma that survivors can feel.

Threat provokes humans to respond in one of five ways: Fight, Flight, Freeze, Friend, and Flop (5). The emotional brain (the amygdala) will automatically trigger the response needed for survival.

Fight

Physically fighting, pushing, struggling, and/or fighting verbally e.g. saying ‘no’.

Flee / Flight

Putting distance between yourself and the danger. For example: running, hiding, or backing away.

Freeze

Going still and silent.

Freezing is not giving consent, it is an instinctive survival response.

Friend/Fawning

‘Befriending’ the person who is dangerous – trying to ‘appease’ the abuser.

Flop

Similar to freezing, except your body may go floppy. Your mind can also shut down to protect itself.

It is important to understand this automatic survival instinct. Remember… What happened is NEVER the fault of the survivor. It is only ever the fault of the perpetrator.

1 in 18 men have experienced sexual violence. (Rape Crisis)

An estimated 12,000 men are raped in the UK every year, and more than 70,000 are sexually abused or assaulted. (Survivors UK)

Any man or boy can be sexually assaulted or raped, regardless of their size, strength, appearance, or sexual orientation.

Being sexually assaulted has nothing to do with your sexuality or gender identity.

Straight men can sexually assault other men. Sexual assault is about violence, anger, power, and control over another person – it is not about lust, desire, or sexual attraction.

Women can sexually assault a man.

An erection or ejaculation does not mean you consented to the sexual assault. Physiological responses to touch in certain areas are automatic – see ‘How the body may respond’ below for more information.

Survive recognises that sexual violence can happen to anyone. If you are a male survivor, our services are available to you.

Further resources for male survivors:
Survivors UK

Safeline – Support for Male Survivors 

The Survivors Trust Resource

Self Help Guides from Survivors West Yorkshire

Being sexual assaulted can feel isolating. You may find it daunting but beneficial to get involved with local groups:

Menfulness

Andy’s Man Club 

North Yorkshire Combined Authority Men’s Mental Health Funded Projects – full list  

How your body responded during sexual assault does not mean you wanted it to happen.

Your body may have an erection, lubricate, or orgasm during sexual assault.

Erections can be involuntary and happen in a variety of situations, including fear and stress. Similarly, vaginal lubrication is an automatic biological reaction which acts as a natural form of protection from tissue damage.

It is important to note: Physiological responses to touch in certain areas of the body are automatic and are not a sign of sexual desire. It does not mean you are in any way responsible for the abuse. Automatic responses from the body do not mean consent was given.

You may feel disappointed that you didn’t fight back or run away – it’s important to remember our body has built in, automatic responses to dangerous situations. See ‘The fight or flight response’ above for further information.

Research shows that false allegations of rape are rare and only represent 0.6% of the cases brought to court.

A 2012 CPS report (1) shows just 35 prosecutions for making false allegations of rape over a 17-month period compared to 5651 prosecutions for rape.

Men are more likely to be victims of rape than falsely accused of rape (2).

Sexual abusers come from all walks of life. They can be friendly, charming. They are also manipulative and seek out and prey on the vulnerable.

According to a report published by the Ministry of Justice, Home Office and Office of National Statistics (3), 90% of rapes are committed by a person known to the victim such as a friend, acquaintance, colleague, partner or ex-partner.

Office of National Statistics data (2020) (4) shows that in 2019, child sexual abuse was most likely to have been perpetrated by a friend or acquaintance.