client's experience 0304.htm

If I knew then what I know now, would I have gone through with it? My answer would probably have been no. But I did go through with it and now I can tell my story.

I kept secret for 40 years the sexual abuse I suffered as a child. I experienced the feelings of it being my fault, that I must have done something to warrant what was happening to me and these feelings have stayed with me for all those years. As I grew older I found myself in other abusive situations. Why did I let this happen? I don’t know, only that I was vulnerable and was taken advantage of.

Through Survive I have learnt that what happened to me was not my fault, that I no longer need to feel ashamed. I could have gone on allowing myself to be taken for granted, but I came to the realisation that I was worth more than this. The counselling has not been easy, I had to learn to trust a stranger, I had to share things no one else knew anything about, not even my parents. It was extremely painful to share intimate details of what had happened to me, I cried a lot of tears, I was very angry, I was so ashamed. Now after all the pain and suffering, it’s good because suddenly I have found a new me, someone who thinks something of her self, I am as good as the next person. My confidence has increased, I don’t let myself be taken for granted as much, this I still have to work on, but the best thing of all is that I am beginning to like myself.

I am no longer that little girl, sad and alone, hiding her pain and tears. I am a woman who has found a new lease of life; I’m free from the guilt, the anger, the shame that had brought me so low. Yes, my life is changing. I still have issues that need dealing with, but now I am a stronger person and I know that having come this far the remainder will not be as difficult. I WILL SURVIVE.